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I decided I wanted to write every day But then I complain that I don’t have time to. I am too busy procrastinating on my phone waiting for the train (17 minutes) that when it actually does come I get on the wrong one. I find myself in Sydenham; a suburb where I used to live at a train stop I used to wait at. Now I have to flick through Instagram mindlessly waiting for the train to take me home. I complain that I don’t have any time. I am so busy. When can I do that? Everything takes forever. I’m finally back at the station I started at and beginning my journey home. I wonder if everything takes forever or if the truth I know to be true is true. My phone runs my life. It sucks up all my time. I spend hours having inane conversations and doing inane things. It distracts me. I can’t remember why I picked it up and then I put it down and I remember the thing and have to pick it up again. Last month I was on an island with no electricity and no phone service. I put my phone down for 10 days and didn’t miss it for a second. On the drive home my boyfriend yells at me for not answering the phone when he calls me. “You’re never around when I need you.” I was driving 110km on a highway with poor reception. I don’t know how to escape my phone. If I turn it off I will upset my father and my boyfriend (and my customers?) But I don’t know how much more I can use it!!! I consider leaving it at home while I am at work (but it’s useful) I consider leaving it at work when I’m home (but it’s useful) Could I be one of those irritating and selfish people who only own a nokia? I owe my phone my boyfriend (we met there) I owe my phone my business (it exists most truly there) the friends I appreciate the most started as phone conversations. Do I appreciate them because they were disguised as my screen? What can I do? My dreams take place on my screen. ~ train thoughts 31/10/2022 ~ |
